What if all Henry Peglar had of John Bridgens was wishes and pining? And then what if John was the one who got sick on the walk?
Henry’s heart began to pound. “Do you think, after all these years, that my life doesn’t flow by your meter and rhythm? That you didn’t teach me to love you with every new letter and word?”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/38359051
Written for the Hurt/Comfort Exchange, for The Terror: Dr. Harry Goodsir/Dr. Alexander McDonald (hurt McDonald)
What if Harry had the chance to save the life of the man he loves?
~Rated M~
CW: Canon homophobia, suicide, fire, injury, blood, medical procedures & surgery
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37585003
Henry was changing. John had known Henry many years by now, and of course, he had changed in that time. Henry had properly grown into his looks. His beard was fuller, his manner more graceful, his moods quieter, though no less passionate. But this was different.
At first John felt like Henry was going backwards in growth, getting thinner, stumbling around like a new puppy. But then John realized the horrible truth: Henry was racing ahead, much faster than any man should. He was rushing toward old age and infirmity as if he’d skipped to the last chapter of the book of his life.
~Rated E~
Ao3 ~ DannyeChase.com ~ Linktree
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37585003
On the day the men from Terror moved across the ice to Erebus, Henry came to John’s cabin twice. The first time, John gave him a new book by Xenophon. It was a brief meeting, in the light, with the door open and all the important things said silently. The second time was later that night, when the real words might be spoken.
Henry came as soft as a cat, slipping into John’s room in the dark and closing the door behind him.
“You shouldn’t be here,” John admonished, quieter than the creaking of the ship.
“Says the man who’s still awake, waiting for me.”
~Rated E~
Posting schedule:
Chapter 5 (final chapter): March 18
Ao3 ~ DannyeChase.com ~ Linktree
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37585003
Henry was holding a cloth hat, and he turned it around several times in his hands. He didn’t seem to know where in the room to look. “Mr. Bridgens,” he said, in a voice that shook slightly, “you never took a lover on the ship. Believe me, I watched for it.”
John began to cough. Henry stood unmoving while John poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher in the room. “I never take a lover on a ship,” John managed to say.
“Then you must be wanting.” Henry took a step closer. “I know that you desire me. I’ve handled that knowledge clumsily, and I apologize. Let me be plain: I desire you, too.”
~Rated E~
Posting schedule:
Chapter 4: March 16
Chapter 5 (final chapter): March 18
Ao3 ~ DannyeChase.com ~ Linktree
The knowledge that he was in love hit John harshly, like an unexpected wave, some monster of the deep striking high on the deck on a windless day, leaving shock and destruction. He trained his eyes on the page, trying to reason with himself. It made no sense. Henry was pretty, but there were other pretty men. He was sweet and kind, but so were many in the crew. He was a good student, he was polite, but he possessed no trait that could not be found among other men that John had known.
And yet John had to admit that no one else had quite the same smile as Henry, an expression that looked oddly different in sunlight and shadow: brave in the day, companionable in the night. No one else had quite the same hands that would work roughly at a pencil as an unschooled sailor might, and yet were oddly dexterous at it, producing unexpectedly beautiful lines of script.
John was in love with Henry, irrefutably, inescapably, because he was Henry. No one John had ever met or would ever meet would be able to fit himself into a space in John’s heart, because that empty place was the exact size and shape of Henry Peglar, and apparently always had been.
~Rated E~
Posting schedule:
Chapter 3: March 14
Chapter 4: March 16
Chapter 5 (final chapter): March 18
Ao3 ~ DannyeChase.com ~ Linktree
John had noticed before how attractive Henry was. If John had a type, it was this: a shorter, slimmer man than himself, sometimes younger. But of course, never this young, with Henry in his twenties, which put nearly thirty years’ gap between them. It was this fact, perhaps, that doomed John, because he gladly agreed to teach Henry, fully certain that no matter how he might desire the young man, nothing would ever come of it. The age difference was far too great. Henry was a beautiful, nimble sailor, strong and energetic, and John was an old man who kept quiet in hallways and served food without anyone noticing he was there. He was sure that Henry would never see a potential for romance between them.
~Rated E~
Posting schedule:
Chapter 2: March 12
Chapter 3: March 14
Chapter 4: March 16
Chapter 5 (final chapter): March 18
Ao3 ~ DannyeChase.com ~ Linktree
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