Humans and Their Weird Magic Objects

ALT

Thrilled to announce that my story “Humans and Their Weird Magic Objects” will appear in the Lorelei Signal on July 7, 2024!

A woman falls for a crab mermaid while attempting to steal treasure from a ghost ship. My favorite genre to write: comedy romance <3 And the story will be free to read online!

Elise had prepared for climbing a rope onto the Doris. She’d prepared to hide from ghosts if they noticed her, prepared to search for a necklace in the middle of a storm. She was not in any way prepared to do any of that in the company of a gorgeous, scantily clad woman.

Mari should not have been hotter with clothes on. But fuck the rules, apparently. Elise’s sweater—blue, of course—was just barely oversized on Mari. Soaking wet, it clung to her body, showing her nipples through the fabric, hanging just low enough to conceal her rear end. Thus Elise could see nearly every inch of Mari’s now-human legs. They were as plump as the rest of her, pale and lovely, right down to her—

Elise made a strangled noise.

“Oh,” Mari said. She was clinging to the edge of the life boat they were hiding behind, looking like a not-quite-metaphorical fish out of water. “Yeah, I’m not good at feet, sorry.” Mari peered down at Elise’s feet, white with cold. “What are those again?”

“Toes. Toes are what go on legs. Not fingers. Fingers go on hands.”

“Why?”

“Bipedalism.”

“But then you can’t pick up stuff with your feet.”

“That’s…a fair point.” Elise resolved to avoid looking below Mari’s ankles. But of course, the rest of Mari was distracting as well. Ghost ship, Elise reminded herself. Magic amulet. Not inconveniently beautiful women. “The treasure should be in the passenger quarters. This way.”

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